Recently, I joined with two colleagues to produce a “continuing medical education” unit for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Our topic was “Vibrators and Other Devices in Gynecologic Practices” (if you’re a health care practitioner, you can investigate the CME offer here).
I was joined by Mary Jo Rapini, a sex psychotherapist and long-time friend of MiddlesexMD, and Debra Wickman, a gynecologist who teaches at the Banner Good Samaritan Medical Center in Phoenix. We talked about a 2009 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that says that 52.5 percent of women have used a vibrator; that led us to talk about the roughly half who have not.
A number of myths might get in their way, and we hope we made some progress in busting them.
Myth #1: Vibrators are for people whose relationships are in trouble. Based on what the three of us have seen, the opposite is true. As Mary Jo explains, “Vibrators are for couples who want to explore, who want to try new things, who want to play and have fun in their sex life.” Couples who share that desire are typically interested, trusting, and care about each other.
Myth #2: Vibrators make it hard to have an orgasm any other way. I’m happy to debunk this one with a medical reality: As the muscles involved in orgasm grow stronger, orgasm becomes easier and more intense. Vibrators are good at stimulating—and they don’t get tired or fumble, as we sometimes do as we lose a little strength and dexterity. Staying sexually active with a vibrator will increase your responsiveness to manual stimulation—that’s just the way we work.
Myth #3: There’s something sinful about a vibrator. Again, it’s Mary Jo who addresses this most directly. She’s had a number of conversations with faith leaders on her patients’ behalf, when religious concerns weighed on their minds. The ministers she’s talked to are invariably in favor of keeping marriages strong, and maintaining physical intimacy is a natural part of those relationships.
Myth #4: Vibrators are only for self-stimulation. Vibrators are good for self-stimulation, and that’s a good option for women who want to maintain their sexual health when they’re without a partner. But they’re also part of intimacy for couples. They’re especially good for couples who see a need to slow down and spend more time in foreplay. Which, now that I think about it, could be any of us who’ve achieved midlife!
If you’re among those who haven’t tried a vibrator, I support your right to decide for yourself. Here’s hoping, though, that none of these myths is what’s standing in your way.
Dr. Barb DePree, M.D., has been a gynecologist and women’s health provider for almost 30 years and a menopause care specialist for the past ten.
2 comments
I am not sure about #2. I have known people who it seemed like they got accustomed to the level of vibration/stimulation from a vibrator and couldn’t achieve orgasm without that same level. Are you sure? Do you have any research?
Great question. The research does suggest that there isn’t any more likelihood of getting accustomed to a vibrator any more than there is to oral, digital or penetrative stimulation. A variety is always a great option, explaining why so many vibrators now offer so many options of stimulation. The nerve fibers (A-beta fibers) that sense vibration (and are very abundant in the pelvis) aren’t any more likely to get accustomed to the vibrator than they are to other stimulations.