Use a personal vibrator

A personal vibrator—also known as a clitoris vibrator or intimate compact massager—can enhance vaginal comfort and awaken interest in sex. Whatever their shape, large or small, vibrators for women all have motors that vibrate to stimulate the clitoris. A vibrator helps increase genital sensation and can bring its user to orgasm. And men sometimes like stimulation of the prostate.

Beyond that common purpose, vibrators vary in materials, design, and function. Confused by all the choices? Sort it out by reading "How to Choose a Personal Vibrator," and then see the options we offer

Sex After Menopause
Even before menopause, surprisingly few women are able to achieve orgasm during intercourse, because we rely on clitoral stimulation. But especially with sex after menopause, when vaginal tissues become thinner and circulation diminishes, we need more stimulation for sexual satisfaction. Vibrators can help before and during partnered sex, to add that extra stimulation that helps a woman reach orgasm.

The Vibrator and Orgasm
By increasing genital sensation with a vibrator, orgasm is more likely to remain a part of sex after menopause. Self-stimulation with a vibrator will also help older women maintain healthy vaginal tissues between sexual encounters and between sexual partners.

And clitoral stimulation with a personal vibrator can help awaken and keep our sexuality alive. Just a little bit of regular stimulation with a vibrator—and experiencing orgasm—can have a profound effect on our sexual health, preserving our sense of ourselves as sexual beings.

For tips on choosing your vibrator, especially if it's your first, check out this page.

How To Use Your Personal Vibrator

  1. Spend some time with the owner’s manual to be sure you understand all of the settings. Charge it or confirm what kinds of batteries it takes.
  2. Wash your vibrator with a toy cleaner or mild soap and warm water. Rinse it well to be sure no soap residue remains (if it isn’t waterproof, be careful not to get water near the battery case).
  3. Start on your own, even if you plan to use your vibrator with a partner. Give yourself time and space to be relaxed and open to the sensations. If you have roommates, children, or thin walls, turn on some music or take other steps to mute the sound. Especially if your vibrator is waterproof, you may start with a warm bath to be sure you’re relaxed.
  4. Introduce your body to the vibrator. Turn it off, and then put it anywhere on your body (tight shoulder muscles?) and then turn it on, even over your clothes. This is just to see what the vibrator feels like on your body.
  5. Move the vibrator around your body, adjusting the speed, pressure, and angle. When you want to, move it to your vulva and clitoris. Use lubricant (water-based on silicone vibrators) to increase your comfort.
  6. If your vibrator is designed for it, try penetration. Start slow; use the vibrator externally first for arousal. Insert the vibrator as much as is comfortable and pleasurable for you.
  7. When you feel comfortable with your vibrator, you’re ready to introduce it to your partner. (If you’re sharing your vibrator outside a monogamous relationship, put a condom on it.)

Talk... Take Your Time... and Test First
For long-partnered couples, introducing a vibrator into your sex life can be a tricky proposition. If you’re navigating sex after 50, we recommend talking before making a purchase, and perhaps shopping together. You can discuss the various attributes of the vibrator, and in so doing, share what sort of sensation you may need now and why things are different these days.