Q: Will I ever orgasm?

You may be among the 4 percent who won't experience orgasm--who, for some reason, simply can't, under any circumstances. It's more likely that you're among the 96 percent who can. When a woman tells me she's not sure if she's experienced orgasm, I say she probably hasn't; it's fairly obvious when it happens. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm; what we see so often in movies, of partners climaxing together through intercourse alone, is rare in real life. Beyond that, there's plenty of variation: Some women may need an hour of clitoral stimulation; others may experience orgasm through brief nipple stimulation. I recommend that each woman know her own clitoris, because degrees and types of pleasurable stimulation vary among us. Vibrators are very effective in stimulating the clitoris, and spending time yourself, exploring in a relaxed environment, will help you advise your partner on what feels good. Soothing or arousing music or a sexy scene from a movie can help, too. When you're ready to go further, you can try internal stimulation, which leads to orgasm for about 30 percent of us. A vibrator like the Gigi2 can be used both externally and internally, so you can place it in the vagina (use a lubricant to be sure you're comfortable) and see what happens. While chances are good (about 96 percent good!), there's no guarantee of orgasm. And because being focused only on orgasm can actually inhibit your ability to experience it, I hope you'll enjoy the intimacy and other sensations along the way!

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