Alternatives to Intercourse

Dr. Barb DePree MDby Dr. Barb DePree, M.D.

We may age, and our sexual abilities may change. But our need for physical affection, playfulness, and emotional intimacy never leaves us.

Sexual intimacy can be expressed through intercourse, yes. But when intercourse becomes difficult or impossible, couples can explore many more ways to express their sexuality.

Most women engage in sex for the sense of intimacy the act affords. If you hold intimacy as your goal, the options for sexual acts and sexual play multiply beyond intercourse very quickly.

How To 

Almost any shared activity can become part of erotic play. We share some ideas here, but let your imagination set your limits, and play safe!

  • Cuddling
  • Massage
  • Necking/nibbling
  • Bathing together
  • Bathing one another
  • Reading erotic stories
  • Sharing erotic fantasies
  • Watching erotic movies
  • Slow genital massage without orgasm as the goal
  • Eating
  • Playing
  • Exercising
  • Wearing or wrapping each other in silk
  • Singing or playing music together
  • Gardening
  • Passing naughty notes in an inappropriate setting.
  • Sex-texting (be sure you know where your text message is going...)
  • Erotic emailing
  • Erotic codewords or coded language
  • Naughty scavenger hunts
  • Role-playing games