Ouch! That's a description I hear more often than you think. You're not alone. Other women also describe the sensation as sandpaper, cutting, burning, or ripping.
When a woman describes that sensation, it's usually caused by vaginal atrophy, or more likely vestibulodynia/vulvodynia. A careful exam is needed to determine exactly what's happening; proper treatment can make sex comfortable again. It's likely that vaginal estrogen is necessary to make those tissues healthier; that alone may solve the issue. If that doesn’t completely resolve the pain, treatment options for vestibulodynia/vulvodynia should be explored. The good news is that there is nearly always successful treatment! You can regain the intimacy you're missing in your relationship.