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Sex on the Brain

by Dr. Barb DePree MD

We’ve talked before about mindfulness – making a conscious effort to become more fully aware of something and thinking more deeply about it – and how being more mindful of sex can help increase your desire for it.

Because like many things in our busy lives, it’s easy to put sex on the back burner, along with items like haircuts and ironing. And if that burner’s not turned on, things can cool down pretty quickly.

And let’s face it, as we get older, our sex drive can diminish as hormone levels drop after entering menopause. So unlike when we were young and our hormones were raging, sex isn’t always “on the brain,” as it used to be. And unless you’re pro-active about putting it there, it might go away. Which would not be a good thing because sex and intimacy are such important parts of a well-balanced, healthy relationship.

But once you make the decision to become more mindful about sex, you’ll find many opportunities to incorporate sexual thoughts into your life. And it starts in places other than the bedroom.

Like the kitchen, for example. There’s always been a great relationship between food and sensuality (remember the movie Tom Jones?). You might want to check out The New InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook. It explores the history of aphrodisiacs and offers a guide for pairing dishes with relationship stages and different times of year. It also includes easy recipes for massage and bath oils. Why not give it a try? It might just lead to a romantic encounter.

Speaking of baths, next time you’re in the tub, put out some candles and invite your mate to come in and chat while you soak. It’s a peaceful and relaxing setting (no phones allowed) that’s ideal for conversations about intimate topics like… your sex life!

Remember, too, that we women are much more responsive when we’ve received sexual stimuli — thoughts, sights, smells, and sounds — than we are to just diving into sex spontaneously. Getting in the mood might just be a matter of giving some thought to what turns you on – and telling your mate about it

. As the old saying goes, “Sex starts between the ears,” and that means in your head. So if you want to keep your sex life active – or get it cooking again – start thinking about it more. And watch what happens.


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