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Go Ahead, Flirt. It’s Fun!

Go Ahead, Flirt. It’s Fun!

by Dr. Barb DePree MD

The popular TV show Modern Family has a running joke with Clare and Phil, a 40-something couple with three kids: They go to a hotel once in awhile pretending to be strangers who meet in the bar and flirt like crazy with each other. They do it just to liven up their sex lives a bit. And guess what—it’s not a bad idea!

Flirting, the real thing, is not just for the young, or the single. Flirting at any age is a turn-on, especially when it’s unexpected. It’s a way to say “I love you” or “I want you” in a fun, sexy way. It helps you make those important human connections that lead to real intimacy. It can be a great prelude to great sex—the start of foreplay, really.

To get yourself in the mood, try thinking about what initially attracted you to your partner all those years ago. His voice? His smile? His laugh?

Or maybe look at some photos of when you first met and remind yourself of what it was like to flirt with him.

Because unlike orgasms, you can’t really fake flirting; you have to mean it. And once you get back into it, you’ll see that flirting can help increase your sexual confidence, too, making you feel like you’ve still “got it” when it comes to being sexy and alluring.

If you’re a little out of practice, here are some things you can try:

  • Use your eyes; they’re two of your sexiest body parts. For example, next time you’re sitting across the room from your partner—say he’s reading the paper—grab his gaze and then wink at him. Trust me, you’ll get a reaction.
  • Or stare at your partner in a loving way and let him catch you looking. Then smile and say something nice. (“I was just thinking about how cute you looked last night…”)
  • When you go out to dinner, wear a top that shows cleavage and play with your necklace running your fingers along the tops of your breasts.
  • Next time you give him a hug, make it last a little longer… shoot for 10 seconds.
  • Send him a sexy text (just make sure you’ve got the right number!).
  • Leave a note under his pillow some night saying you’re ready for some fun.
  • Rent an erotic or romantic movie and set the stage for watching it later together.

You can turn almost any situation into a flirtatious encounter, just by having the idea in your head. Now that it is, why not try it out this weekend? Let us know what happens!

For more on the subject, check out Alternatives to Intercourse on our website and “How to Flirt Over Age 50” on


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