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How to Give a Sexy Massage

by Dr. Barb DePree MD

I've talked before about the benefits of touch and said that we’d give you some tips on how to give a “sexy” massage. Well, here they are!

While professional massage therapists are trained to really work the muscles, our suggestions are more about achieving intimacy in a sensual, relaxing way. So it’s more about technique than strength. Giving a massage requires emotional generosity and presence, so take your time. Don’t rush and enjoy the moment alone together. And let us know how it goes!

What you’ll need: A firm surface, pillows, a clean sheet, warm oil, scented candles (or combine the two in oil-producing massage candles), and soft, romantic music.

  • In a darkened room, with soft music playing and candles lit (but out of the way) have your partner lie face down on a firm, flat surface, such as couch cushions on the floor, with pillows under the neck, knees and ankles. Cover your partner with the clean sheet, pulling it down to expose the specific areas where you’ll be working, starting with the neck and shoulders.
  • Rub a few drops of the warm oil into your hands.
  • Using both hands, start at the bottom of the neck and make firm strokes outward along the shoulder and at the top of the arm. Use long, pressing movements.
  • Press your thumbs in firmly at middle of neck and go round and round in small circles.
  • Use the thumbs to work into the muscles at the base of the neck. Pay attention to any knots or areas of tightness that you find here working firmly and slowly into the muscles, continuing to make tiny circles.
  • Next, lay one hand flat on your partner's shoulders, then press the other hand on top and rotate slowly.
  • Keep your fingers together and palms in full contact with the part you’re working on.
  • Glide your hands slowly down either side of the spine, back up the sides of the body. Keep your thumbs on each side of spine, using very little pressure in this area.
  • Begin using a kneading motion as you work toward the arms, biceps, buttocks and thighs. Just lift and squeeze the area, keeping your palms in full contact with the skin.
  • For small areas like soles of feet and palms, apply friction with your fingertips. To do this, anchor the area you’re massaging with one hand and use the other to deeply press and rub.
  • Have your partner flip over and repeat the same kinds of motions on the front side, moving down from the top, until you’ve covered every body surface.
Don’t worry about whether you’re doing it “right”! Your goal is to create new ways of connecting through the power of your touch.


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