Holidays are a booby trap for intimacy. So much to do; so little time: cards, cooking, cleaning, decorating, gifting, partying, shopping, visiting. Makes me exhausted just to think about it! Little wonder, then, that the first casualty of holiday celebrating is usually our closest relationship. It’s just too easy, either to vent our stress on our significant other or to ignore the daily interactions and kindnesses that lubricate the wheels of intimacy.
So, to help keep those wheels humming despite the holiday frenzy, let’s explore a few creative ways to share the love with your honey. Actually, when you think about it, Christmas is delightfully sprinkled with sexy innuendo. So let’s think about it.
- Hang mistletoe. In the midst of all the hustle-bustle, this sweet tradition is an opportunity to acknowledge your one-and-only in a quick and undemanding way. You can hang it in a high-traffic area or over door to your boudoir, or both. It’s not (necessarily) foreplay; it’s just a gentle reminder of the important thing you have between you.
- Speaking of kisses… Christmas is all about chocolate, which, by the way, is a known aphrodisiac. Don’t overdue (too much of a good thing kills the mood, trust me), but do indulge in some sweet surrender. Maybe a few dark chocolate kisses on the pillow?
- Be a secret Santa. Okay, so this takes a little more time, but it’s a lot of fun. Surprise your lover with thoughtful little gifts and reminders during the entire season. Slip a bit of lingerie in a card and mail it to him. Send a surprise basket of fruit and chocolate to his work. Send random love notes or sexts. Movie tickets or a reservation to a favorite restaurant. The goal is just to add some sweetness and spice to his day and to let him know you’re thinking of him.
- Lighten up your load. Nothing kills the joy of the season like a snappish, exhausted partner. Unfortunately, holidays are a black hole for overcommitment. Make a resolution early to prioritize your sanity, health, and intimate relationship during the holiday. If you’re facing a juggernaut of things to do, I’m proposing that it’s absolutely possible to cut back. Do you really have to send a hundred cards? Do all the closets really need cleaning? I know you’ve made springerle every year since time immemorial, but maybe a new generation needs to pick up the slack. Use that time for a special evening with your honey. Or a nap.
- Fire and lights. I don’t know about you, but there’s something magical and intimate about a room lit by a cozy fire and Christmas lights. Chill a bottle of chardonnay, prepare a plate of beautiful exotic aphrodisiacs—avocado, figs, pomegranate, chocolate. Lay a quilt in front of the fire and let the evening unfold.
- Create your Christmas playlist. Don’t forget the music while you’re lounging by the fire. You have downloaded a special playlist of classic crooners, haven’t you? Nothing like a little Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Dean Martin as an unobtrusive background to your special time together.
- Make a treasure chest. Collect a bunch of sexy surprises and put them in a fun, special X-box. Lock it and let him keep the key. When sex needs some extra fizz, he can unlock the box. This could include sexy reading or a movie, candles, bubble bath, kinky toys. Shop our store for high-quality lubes and vibrators.
- Use sock monkeys. You read that right. A humorous and creative item for your treasure chest is this book, which is a pictorial depiction of Kama Sutra positions demonstrated by sock monkeys. Include a couple sock monkeys of your own and you’re off to the races, or treetops. Sex with a side of humor.
- Color yourself red. Red is the color of Christmas. It’s also the color of sex. According to numerous studies, when either men or women wear red, they are seen as more interesting, sexy, and attractive than people wearing other colors. Inject a touch of science to your sexy holiday. Maybe red silk sheets? Maybe some attractive red lingerie?
- Get away for the weekend. There is nothing more relaxing and luxurious than an overnight (or more) in a special place where you can pamper yourselves and celebrate your love. This could be a reward for surviving the holiday, or a mid-December treat if you can swing it.
I hope this list gives you some ideas to work from. If nothing else, I hope you resolve to navigate this special season with an eye to preserving your own peace of mind and nurturing your relationship.
Dr. Barb DePree, M.D., has been a gynecologist and women’s health provider for almost 30 years and a menopause care specialist for the past ten.