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MiddlesexMD

Q: How can I increase our success using a vibrator?

by Dr. Barb DePree


I'm glad to hear that a vibrator has been helpful to you! Women our age often need extra stimulation for arousal and orgasm, and many find that a vibrator provides just what they need. If you're looking for more, here are some things you might consider:

  • A stronger motor: Not all vibrators are created equal. Check for motor strength, because it really does matter to midlife women: a stronger motor means more stimulation. You can also check for the number of pulse patterns offered; there's nothing magic about them, but they make experimentation easier.
  • Get versatile: If you've started with an external clitoral vibrator, you might want to try a vibrator that can be used inside the vagina, too.
  • Size differs: You'll notice I didn't say that size matters, but different sizes do offer different sensations. Models very in shape and dimension, the Raya for example is a slender model, while the Gigi 2 has a larger tip.
Finally, stay playful and stay connected to your partner when you're being intimate. While vibrators are great as both tools and toys, especially for us as women, the emotional connection is arousing, too!

2 comments


  • My husband and I are unsure about how to use a vibrator together in our sex life. So far, it feels awkward to my husband, and he reports he doesn’t feel “connected” to me when he uses a vibrator on me. He misses the intimacy of intercourse and we’re both shy and uncomfortable and worried about each other and feelings. I don’t normally achieve orgasm through intercourse, though, and would really like to experiment with my husband holding the vibe. Can you do a post on ways to use a vibrator in partner sex? I’ve got the solo thing down….

    RJ on

  • We’re working on a series on vibrator use and will keep that suggestion in mind! Thanks for the input.

    barbdepree on

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