Your idea of a great lover is not likely to be the same as mine. My idea of an ideal sexual experience may be far from that of my sister's. And there's much that's changed since we were younger, and our sexual preferences may be among them.
And so it's no wonder that couples—even those whose relationships are compatible in every other way—can find themselves no longer compatible in bed.
As with all differences, the key to living with this incompatibility is to understand it. Understanding can lead to considered compromise, which can lead to happiness and greater intimacy.
But first comes talking about it.
Talking about sex is a little bit like having sex in this way: The more you do it, the more comfortable it gets. So, whether or not you've ever really talked about your differences or expressed your preferences before—the onset of menopause offers a perfect opportunity to do so. You can share what used to work but doesn't any more and what you'd like to explore—and you just might discover some things about what's happening for your partner.
We can help you get there from here.
Dig deeper by exploring the related conditions listed at right, or choose another statement that sounds like you.