I'm busy, tired, stressed

Exercise, managing meals, child care, work, more work, community/church service, parent care, seeing friends, paying bills, cleaning house...

Sex? Where and when do you fit sex into a daily routine like this one? Aside from the simple lack of time in the day, when and how does one have time to "get in the mood"?

There's a lot of hot debate about women's libidos. One important aspect of our libidos: They are driven by the same organ as our to-do lists. When our brains are crowded with thoughts of leftovers and clogged toilets, it's hard for images of romance and sex to take root and grow.

For sex to happen at our age and within our busy lives, it really must be a choice. We can choose to make it a priority in that long list of to-dos, or not. If you choose not to, you need to be aware of the implications for your relationship and for your body. Only you and your partner can determine what effect your choice will have on your relationship. But your body—especially your vaginal tissues—has a "use it or lose it" rule. If you want to make a different choice later, it can take months of therapy to reopen and restore the vagina.

Really, it's your choice. We can help you learn to give your sexuality room to flower.

Dig deeper by exploring the related conditions listed at right, or choose another statement that sounds like you.

See if these conditions affect your priorities

High Stress
The most common reason for declining interest in sex among women at any age?

Physical/Emotional Distance
By midlife many of us have been in our relationships for decades, have endured ups and downs together.

Helpful reminders

Understand the recipe
Talking about sex
Seeking care and advice