You describe a series of distressing events, including your stroke, a separation for your rehabilitation, and your wife’s loss of desire. You’ve sought help from mental health professionals, one of whom prescribed antidepressants for both of you.
I’m so sorry that after so many years of a great marriage and sexual relationship, you’re facing this difficult and complicated situation. It’s normal to grieve this loss of intimacy. Now you’re likely dealing with a combination of emotional and physical factors, and the antidepressants prescribed to help can also dampen desire.
I’d recommend that you seek a therapist specializing in sexual health. AASECT (the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) certifies specialists trained to address sexual concerns and offers a “locate a professional” page. Choose your state, check the “Therapists” box, and click “search” to identify a resource in your area.
A skilled therapist can help the two of you navigate this complex issue. Congratulations on your long-term commitment to your relationship, and I hope you do restore its full richness.