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Q: Can I have sex again? It’s been a few decades...

Q: Can I have sex again? It’s been a few decades...

by Dr. Barb DePree

Sounds like you’ve been doing a number of the right things: You’ve been using dilators, a vibrator, lubricant, and vaginal moisturizer. It sounds like you’re at a point where localized estrogen, Osphena,  or Intrarosa would be helpful for you to achieve your desired outcome.

You asked. Dr. Barb answered.Any of these prescription drugs will provide elasticity, a critical factor for getting the “stretch” needed with the dilators. Take your dilators in to your health care provider and have this conversation, too. He or she can help you determine whether you can get further capacity with the methods you’re using or whether, as I suspect, you need to take the next step and add a prescription to your routine to restore health to the vaginal tissues.

It’s hard to get to the final goal without that option--and that final goal is definitely one worth working for! Good luck.


  • Sexual preferences vary widely. I don’t know that there is a known “fact” that men prefer a tight vagina. Penises and vaginas come in all shapes and sizes, and fortunately a healthy vagina is very elastic and can usually stretch to accommodate a variety of sized penises. On the other hand, a “size mismatch” may result in painful intercourse for a woman. From my perspective, “tight” conveys the likelihood of discomfort for women so this isn’t likely to be pleasurable for the partner. From a medical standpoint the procedures (surgical or “laser”) used to tighten have not been clinically proven to enhance sex, but they are certainly being sold as such. An unfortunate outcome can be that the scarring that can result from these procedures may make intercourse painful.

    As men age and find maintaining an erection more challenging, they may need more resistance or some tightness to help maintain the erection. There are devices called penile tension rings or erection rings that are designed to be worn at the base of the penis to help trap blood in the penis to keep it more erect.

    Fortunately, there is rarely a need to modify: Most “pairings” work great!

    Dr. Barb on

  • I was always lead to believe that a ‘tight vagina’ was more pleasurable for a man?

    juliet on

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