A New Way to a Better You

As we mentioned last time, 47 percent of New Year’s resolutions are related to self-improvement—losing weight, quitting smoking, getting organized, or saving money. “Improving sexual health and wellbeing” doesn’t make the list (at least not the one in this study) but we think they should.

Because—let’s face it—chances are, they won’t magically get better on their own.

They used to, though, didn’t they? Or it seemed like it. Over the course of our relationships, all of us have probably experienced sexual desire come and go, as we went through things like pregnancy, health-related issues (for us or our partners), and times of stress. Looking back, we remember that desire always bounced back, as it does for most people who are generally healthy and on the young side of middle aged.

But at this stage of the game, how long should you let it go, hoping it will self-correct, before resolving to do something about it? Our take: Not long. Start now. You’ve got nothing to lose and so much to gain in the area of self-improvement.

Although we may not think of intimacy and sex falling into the “self improvement” category, it actually does. Do you want to lose weight? Be healthier? Feel better about yourself? Then get busy, sister, because having sex can help in all those ways. Equally as important is that when sex is good, as you’ll recall, it adds 15 – 20 percent additional value to a relationship; when it’s bad or nonexistent, it drains the relationship of positive value by 50 to 70 percent.

Make 2015 the year that you make a concerted effort at doing what it takes—kegels for better muscle tone, a vaginal moisturizer as part of your skin-care routine, lubricants or a vibrator to add some spice, an honest conversation about foreplay with your partner—to get your game on in the bedroom. Don’t just say you will; make it your New Year’s resolution. Research shows that if you make a resolution, you’re 10 times more likely to have been “continuously successful” at six months than if you don’t. Good luck and Happy New Year!