Just when you thought you were home free—the kids are grown, and you’ve somehow gotten through multiple birds-and-bees talks. But now you find the shoe is on the other foot, and you’re the one needing information about sex. Maybe a health issue is affecting your sex life, or maybe your body is responding differently, or maybe you’re just not as responsive as you used to be. Where do you go for straight talk about these nitty-gritty topics?
According to a presentation I heard at the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH) conference “physicians often do not talk to their patients about sex.” It occurred to me that the effect of this oversight is similar to neglecting the “talk” with our kids, i.e. you end up muddling along with misinformation, rumors, or half-truths.
Oddly, doctors cite similar reasons (excuses?) as the rest of us for avoiding the “talk” with their patients: They don’t have time; they don’t feel comfortable; they don’t know enough about this medical subspecialty to feel competent and helpful.
To be honest, doctors do operate under very tight time constraints in the course of a normal day. Also, sometimes, after talking about health and body parts for years, we forget how uncomfortable it might be for you to bring up what you consider an embarrassing problem. Rest assured, however, that we’ve probably discussed that problem before with someone.
None of this lets anyone off the hook. Sex is an important component to physical and mental health and well-being, and if you have questions or problems, who better to discuss them with than your doctor? If your doctor isn’t taking the initiative, here are some ways to help get the conversation started.