It sounds like you could benefit from a really good pelvic floor physical therapist. While many physical therapists have some training with the pelvic floor, there are only a few with that specialty. Find out who that person is in your community and ask for a referral to him or her.
Physical therapists will have tools that help them determine the strength of the muscles, which helps them make an informed plan for properly improving the tone; Kegel exercises are just one tool in that process. Sometimes after a trauma there is muscle spasm; part of the therapy may be training certain muscles to relax.
It's a good approach to see how far you can get with exercise and therapy before you consider reconstructive surgery. Good luck with your continued recovery from your accident!