Q: I quit the pill and tested mid-menopause in one month; now sex hurts. Suggestions?

Isn’t it amazing how quickly things can change? You say you were tested as being mid-menopause. Blood work is accurate at assessing ovarian function on the day you're tested, but it is miserable in predicting what may happen in the next weeks or months. An FSH level may come back 40 (suggesting menopause) on one day, but you may ovulate 6 weeks from now at have an FSH at 8. It's really only over time that you really can better understand if this is the ‘new norm’ or transient. Perimenopause is known to have fluctuating symptoms; once in menopause, most women's symptoms are more predictable.

To make sex comfortable again, I would start with a lubricant. I would try a water-based lube like Carrageenan or Yes. If using a lube makes you comfortable and doesn't irritate the area, that can be a great, simple solution for now.

A warming lube can add some additional sensation for arousal and make orgasm somewhat stronger. Try Oceanus G Stimulating or Sliquid Sensations. Occasionally the warming lubes can be irritating if the area is sensitive, which is why I'd start with a non-stimulating water-based lube; then test a small amount of the warming lube to see if it works for you!

Good luck! I know you can have satisfying sex again.


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