If you have pain during intercourse, you need a good, thorough physical exam to start, to make sure there is no obvious cause for the pain with penetration (for example, vulvodynia/vestibulodynia). If the exam doesn't identify any apparent physical cause, you might spend some time on MiddlesexMD's recipe for sexual health, walking through each component to see what makes a difference:
- Understand the physiology of menopause so you understand what you're compensating for.
- Learn to care for your vulvo-vaginal tissues, including considering moisturizers or lubricants.
- Compensate for less sensitivity in genital tissues with more stimulation -- and more patience!
- Maintain pelvic floor muscles to encourage circulation and maintain orgasms.
- Attend to emotional intimacy -- because the brain is a vital part of arousal for women.