This is the fifth post in our occasional series inspired by the results of a survey we co-sponsored with PrevaLeaf, makers of natural products for intimate wellness. You can read our first post here and browse back to this one from there: You spoke. We’re listening.
We’ve already established that the women who took our survey tend to talk openly and regularly with their doctors and partners about their issues with vaginal dryness (and, presumably, about other menopausal symptoms as well).
This is excellent!
But I was puzzled by your responses to one of the survey questions. Over half (54.55 percent) of you never talk with your girlfriends about your desert vagina, and again, presumably, you don’t talk with them about other sexual menopausal issues, either.
I understand that it’s embarrassing to talk about vaginal dryness, but I’m sure you discuss other embarrassing menopausal topics with your BFFs, right? Maybe you joke about hot flashes and weight gain and mood swings and insomnia. Why avoid very common yet troubling sexual problems?
After all, who else (besides Mom) would really understand what you’re going through? Much as your spouse may want to be loving and supportive, it’s hard to really walk a mile in your menopausal shoes without being on the same biological journey.
So, why aren’t we talking? Why do we continue to soldier on in silence? Isn’t it time to reach out to the sisterhood? “Create a support network to sustain you through the experience,” writes Ellen Dolgen, author of Menopause Mondays: the Girlfriends’ Guide to Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause. “From my experience the menopause support I received from close friends has been invaluable.”
Amen to that, Sister!
I don’t mean complaining (although some griping is in order), or a revisiting of old wives’ tales and menopausal home remedies. I mean creating an emotional space in which we feel safe to talk about what we’re experiencing, whether it’s a bone-dry vagina or hair-trigger emotions, either of which may be wreaking havoc on our intimate relationships. And then to share credible information and to seek solutions.
In the interest of jump-starting some good BFF conversation, here are a few ideas:
Breaking the shroud of silence surrounding the sexual issues of menopause empowers us to seek and share solutions. Along the way, we discover that a lot of other women are in the same boat. The message is the same, isn’t it? You are not alone.