Best Products to Ease Painful Sex

Painful sex, known medically as dyspareunia, can occur in women at any age and is normally due to an underlying condition, hormone imbalance, pelvic floor issues, or a vaginal infection that requires treatment. The good news is that pain during sex is not difficult to alleviate once the underlying cause has been identified, and treatment is mainly carried out at home.

Although it can be embarrassing, pelvic health practitioners are trained and prepared to discuss intimate symptoms and can provide essential guidance for home treatment. If left untreated, however, painful sex and the underlying condition causing it could escalate into a more serious issue and gravely disrupt your quality of life.

What Causes Painful Sex?

The cause of painful sex typically varies from case to case, can depend on age, and falls into two categories: physical or psychosocial causes.

Physical causes of dyspareunia can include a lack of sexual arousal, resulting in too little natural lubrication (vaginal dryness) that causes friction during sex. Vaginal dryness can also occur during breastfeeding or the menopause transition due to hormone changes.

Scar tissue that forms after pelvic surgery and vaginal dryness following pelvic radiation treatment can contribute to dyspareunia, as can pelvic floor muscle dysfunction and painful pelvic trigger points.

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), urinary tract infections (UTIs), bacterial vaginosis, and yeast infections are also common causes of pain during sex due to the vaginal pH changes, inflammation, irritation, and discomfort often associated with each.

In addition to these vaginal infections, allergic reactions to fragranced hygiene products, soaps, or detergents fall under the term of vaginitis. This is an umbrella term for vaginal irritation, itching, burning, pain, discharge, and an unpleasant odor.

Gynecological conditions that cause painful sex can include endometriosis, fibroids, lichen sclerosis, ovarian cysts, vaginismus, and vulvodynia.

Psychological and psychosocial causes of painful sex generally stem from a history of trauma or abuse, stress, or an underlying fear that sex will be painful, which causes the brain to signal the vaginal muscles to contract and tighten in protection mode.

In addition to the vaginal muscles tightening, vaginal lubrication does not increase and intimacy becomes painful and sometimes impossible.

This fear of sex that psychologically triggers the vaginal muscles to tighten is known as vaginismus and it can arise before a woman's first sexual experience, after trauma or sexual abuse, or following recovery from pelvic surgery, radiation treatment, or a particularly traumatic labor or delivery.

Vaginismus can also occur after experiencing pain during sex for the first time due to any of the above-mentioned physical causes.

Painful Sex Due to Vaginitis

When painful sex is caused by an allergic reaction to a hygiene product or condom, it can be easily treated by eliminating the offending product. Vaginal irritation is often down to using a new soap, scented hygiene product, or washing detergent. Therefore, carrying out a process of elimination will help identify the irritant and allow symptoms to subside.

It's helpful to know that the vagina does not require scented hygiene products to stay clean or smell good. Sticking to warm water and a clean washcloth is all that is required and recommended for clean genitals. Synthetic scents and fragrances typically upset the vaginal pH, and result in irritation.

An organically-made vaginal moisturizer containing no additives, synthetic fragrances or harmful ingredients can also be helpful to soothe the vaginal or vulvar irritation associated with vaginitis.

Painful Sex Caused by Vaginal Infections

When you feel pain during sex and notice some genital itching, an unusual vaginal discharge, unpleasant vaginal odor, a frequent urge to pee, or a burning sensation when urinating, you could have an STI, UTI, yeast infection, or bacterial vaginosis.

In these cases, a doctor can prescribe the appropriate medication for the infection, and patients can normally resume intimacy once the full course of medication is completed.

Painful Sex Caused by Lack of Sexual Arousal or Low Libido

When women have intercourse following no sexual arousal or when their interest in sex is low, the natural lubrication that eases penetration and enhances sexual pleasure is not adequately produced in the vagina. And being intimate without adequate lubrication generally results in friction, micro tearing on the vaginal walls, and pain.

Low libido can be driven by hormone changes, stress, or relationship issues. In some cases it doesn't mean you don't want to have sex, it just means the brain hasn't had time to trigger the production of natural lubrication. In these cases, a partner, or you, can place a few drops of personal lubricant on the vulva and vaginal opening to replace natural lubrication and prevent friction and pain.

To avoid condom damage and prevent vaginal pH alterations caused by oil-based lubricants, we highly recommend using water-based or silicone-based lubricants. Serenity Water-Based Lubricant and Eternity Silicone-Based Lubricants are our top recommendations.

Painful Sex Caused by Fear, Doubt, or Anxiety

When psychological triggers like fear, doubt, and anxiety are causing painful sex due to a protective tightening of the vaginal muscles (vaginismus), it's helpful to speak with a therapist or sex counsellor to understand why.

Previous painful sexual experiences, sexual abuse, and anxiety or doubt about future intimacy are better off being unravelled and comprehended than preventing you from enjoying intimacy and a good quality of life.

In these cases, it can also be beneficial to find comfort with penetration in a gradual way by using a set of vaginal dilators. Designed to gently relax vaginal muscles, and relieve sexual pain, vaginal dilators come in a set of gradually ascending lengths and widths and are best used with a lubricant for comfort.

A sex counsellor, pelvic physical therapist, or gynecologist will show you how to use vaginal dilators to treat your situation.

Painful Sex and Tight Pelvic Floor Muscles

The pelvic floor supports the vagina and pelvic organs, so when these muscles become tight, sex can become painful. When tight or overactive pelvic floor muscles are at the root of painful sex, pelvic wands are one of the best ways to relax them and restore pelvic floor function. Regularly recommended by pelvic physical therapists, they are used for pelvic care at home.

Pelvic wands are dual-ended and shaped to comfortably reach the pelvic floor muscles via the vaginal canal or anus. The finger-like tip of pelvic wands is used to release painful trigger points deep within the pelvic floor, while improving blood circulation within the pelvic tissues to promote relaxation. The shorter, thumb-like end of pelvic wands is used to massage and relax tight muscles closer to the vaginal and anal entrances.

Practicing pelvic and vaginal massage can relieve a hypertonic pelvic floor and thereby enhance sexual pleasure within a few weeks to a few months, depending on practice and pelvic tightness.

Before using pelvic wands, it's helpful to seek guidance from a pelvic floor physical therapist. If you can't find one in your area, Intimate Rose, the leader in pelvic health, offers online pelvic care via a secure and confidential video call.

Painful Sex During Menopause

Throughout the reproductive stage of life, estrogen boosts vaginal wellness, the production of the natural lubrication, elasticity in the vaginal walls, and the pelvic floor muscles which support the vagina and pelvic organs.

Therefore, hormone fluctuations during perimenopause and permanently lowered estrogen levels after menopause are common causes of dyspareunia in middle-aged and postmenopausal women. In fact, it is one of the genitourinary symptoms of menopause (GSM), which also include vaginal dryness, urine leaks, pelvic floor dysfunction, and increased UTIs.

Taking the First Step to Treat Pain During Sex

Before purchasing any products to relieve painful sex, it's important to determine the underlying cause of the pain. This is best done by consulting with a primary care provider, a pelvic health specialist, or a gynecologist to rule out vaginitis or any underlying infections and consider the correct treatment.

For many, this first step of discussing pain during intimacy is the most challenging part of treating dyspareunia, however, it is wise to remember that it leads to healing and a return to enjoyable intimacy.

What are The Best Products to Ease Painful Sex?

Once you've consulted a healthcare provider to determine what's causing your discomfort during intercourse, they can provide guidance for specialist care, at-home treatment, or the necessary medication to treat an underlying infection.

Menopause Hormone Therapy (MHT)

MHT involving bioidentical hormones is considered a safe and effective method of easing several menopause symptoms when types and doses are prescribed according to each patient's needs, rather than a 'one type of MHT fits all' basis.

Local hormone therapy, for example, is used to treat just the genitourinary symptoms of menopause without estrogen passing through the liver or any other part of the body. A daily vaginal insert like Estradiol is designed to absorb into the vaginal walls to boost declining estrogen levels to increase the production of vaginal lubrication, reduce the frequency of UTIs, and prevent pain during sex.

Additionally, the following products can also ease painful sex.

Vaginal Dilators

In addition to relaxing tight vaginal muscles linked to vaginismus, vaginal dilators also help to ease painful sex during and after menopause. By graduating slowly through a set of vaginal dilators, and always using a lubricant for comfort, the vaginal muscles relax and begin to re-tone, thereby improving elasticity in the vaginal walls after estrogen decline.

Pelvic Wands

The drop in estrogen levels during the menopause transition can affect all muscles in the body, including the strength and elasticity of the pelvic floor. For some, the pelvic floor muscles tighten due to low estrogen, while for others, they weaken.

As outlined above, when the pelvic floor muscles are tight, painful sex can intensify. If you're experiencing tight pelvic floor muscles and painful sex during or after menopause, pelvic wands can help alleviate both.

Vitex (Chasteberry) Supplements

Commonly used by ancient civilizations to treat female health conditions like PMS, infertility, and menopause, a natural supplement called Vitex agnus-castus (Vitex), also known as chasteberry, can help rebalance hormones via the pituitary gland.

Vitex is a phytoestrogen found in the berries of the chasteberry tree, and it safely mimics the effects of estrogen. It does this by behaving as an adaptogen to reduce the secretion of prolactin while improving the production of progesterone.

High prolactin secretion during menopause results in lower progesterone levels, which causes low libido, breast tenderness, irritability, and irregular menstruation. A daily Vitex supplement can therefore improve libido during and after menopause to help relieve painful sex.

Where to Find the Best Products for Easing Painful Sex?

There are several varieties of lubricants, vaginal moisturizers, vaginal dilators, and pelvic wands available from pharmacies and online providers. However, not all are made from the safest ingredients or designed for the utmost comfort in the widest range of women.

Having sampled most female health products, we highly recommend pelvic health experts, Intimate Rose. Their products are designed by a highly respected female pelvic physical therapist, FDA-approved, and trusted globally by health professionals and patients seeking in-clinic and at-home pelvic care products.

Their lubricants and vaginal moisturizers are made from the purest ingredients. Vaginal Dilators and Pelvic Wands are manufactured with smooth, safe, and hygienic medical-grade silicone. And they provide a world of support via their blogs, videos, and online pelvic therapy platform.

Intimate Rose also provides online MHT advice with a certified specialist. Following a free assessment, you'll meet with a menopause expert via a private video call and receive menopause relief discreetly shipped to your door within days.

Conclusion

Painful sex can occur all of a sudden or build up slowly, depending on the underlying cause of the discomfort. Anxiety about intimacy, childbirth, pelvic surgery, vaginal infections, menopause, vaginal dryness, and pelvic floor dysfunction are all known contributors to pain during sex.

Although it can be awkward to talk about, the good news is that painful sex can be successfully treated once the underlying cause is determined. If you are embarrassed, speak with a female doctor about relieving dyspareunia. It could be as simple as using a personal lubricant for sex or relaxing the vaginal muscles with dilators.

References

Family Doctor - Dyspareunia - https://familydoctor.org/condition/dyspareunia/

Mayo Clinic - Yeast Infection - https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/yeast-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20378999

World Health Organisation - Sexually Transmitted Infections - https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/sexually-transmitted-infections-(stis)

My Cleveland Clinic - Vaginitis - https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9131-vaginitis

WebMD - Vaginismus - https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginismus-causes-symptoms-treatments

The Pelvic Hub - Dilators for Dyspareunia - https://www.thepelvichub.com/ask-the-experts/dilators-for-dyspareunia

Intimate Rose -Painful Intercourse (Dyspareunia) Home Remedies - 5 Ways to Reduce Pain - https://www.intimaterose.com/blogs/pelvic-pain/natural-dyspareunia-treatment-5-at-home-remedies

National Library of Medicine - Comparison of Vitex agnus-castus Extracts with Placebo in Reducing Menopausal Symptoms: A Randomized Double-Blind Study - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6887765/