You say that sex is uncomfortable, despite using moisturizers and lubricants. Yes, this is common among women after menopause, whether or not they’ve given birth. You say you feel “less stretched out inside.”
Yes, dilators might be your best hope to regain vaginal “capacity.” The elasticity of the vagina is diminished in menopause, so the use of localized estrogen, Osphena, or Intrarosa may make dilator use more successful. These are prescription products that restore health to the vaginal and vulvar tissues. Talking with your health care provider can help to determine if one of these products may be of benefit and which one is the right choice for you.
In the meantime, getting started with dilators sooner than later is good!