Itchy beyond words. Crotch of underwear rubs painfully against labia. Sensation of being on the receiving end of a vulvar wedgie. Feels like tiny razor blade nicks in my vagina during intercourse without lube or adequate foreplay. Also difficulty with penetration.
Doesn’t that sound awful? If that were you, I wouldn’t be surprised that you’re not thinking about sex. Just as awful, about half of us think that vaginal dryness is something we just have to live with—and about the same number of us are hesitant to raise the topic with our doctors.
The truth is that vaginal dryness does not need to end the intimacy you have with your partner—or the afterglow you experience yourself after sex.
First, a word about what’s happening: Yes, it’s likely hormones. As estrogen levels decline, the vaginal lining changes. It becomes more delicate and less stretchy. There’s less lubrication and less circulation. Vaginal dryness is a typical first sign of vaginal atrophy, when vulvo-vaginal tissues shorten and tighten. It’s common; you’re not alone, and you’re not deficient.
If you’re just beginning to notice some discomfort, you can take the easy step of adding lubricant to your foreplay. Lubricants come in three types: water-based, silicone, and hybrid. My patients with dryness issues typically like the silicone and hybrid best, because they last the longest without reapplication, and because they seem just a little bit slipperier to some. Lubricants are made specifically for safe use on and in your vagina; if you want to experiment with a few, you can try our Personal Selection Kit (and read more about it here).
Next, you can add a vaginal moisturizer. While lubricants provide temporary comfort, reducing friction during sex, moisturizers work to “feed” and strengthen vaginal tissues around the clock. Moisturizing here is just like moisturizing your neck or your face: You have to be faithful! I recommend application at least twice a week. Moisturizers need to be placed directly in your vagina, which can be done with an applicator or a clean syringe you reserve for that purpose.
For some women, these two products—and the right amount of foreplay—are enough to make a difference. If they don’t do it for you, please talk to your health care provider, even if you think it will be awkward: Your sex life is important! There are localized estrogen products and a relatively new oral medication (called Osphena) that may be helpful for you, but you’ll need a consultation with your physician and a prescription. This isn’t the end; it’s only a transition, which we as women have a lot of practice with. Take heart and take charge!
Dr. Barb DePree, M.D., has been a gynecologist and women’s health provider for almost 30 years and a menopause care specialist for the past ten. Read more about and from her here.