Use a Personal Vibrator

A personal vibrator — also known as a clitoris vibrator or intimate compact massager — can enhance vaginal comfort and awaken interest in sex. Whatever their shape, large or small, vibrators for women all have motors that make them vibrate to stimulate the clitoris. A vibrator helps increase genital sensation and can bring its user to orgasm.

And men sometimes like stimulation of the prostate. Beyond that common purpose, vibrators vary in materials, design, and function.

Sex After Menopause
Even before menopause, surprisingly few women are able to achieve orgasm during intercourse. But especially with sex after menopause, when vaginal tissues become thinner and circulation diminishes, we need more stimulation for sexual satisfaction. Vibrators can help before and during partnered sex, to add that extra stimulation that helps a woman reach orgasm.

The Vibrator and Orgasm
By increasing genital sensation with a vibrator, orgasm is more likely to remain a part of sex after menopause. Self-stimulation with a vibrator will also help older women maintain healthy vaginal tissues between sexual encounters and between sexual partners.

And clitoral stimulation with a personal vibrator can help awaken and keep our sexuality alive. Just a little bit of regular stimulation with a vibrator--and experiencing orgasm--can have a profound effect on our sexual health-- preserving our sense of ourselves as sexual beings.

How To 

Vibrators come in an astonishing variety of forms. The most important factors to consider when choosing your vibrator is their function, their power, their material, waterproofing for use in the tub, and their durability.


Vibrator Function
Functionally, there are all-purpose vibrators on the market, but most women’s devices have been designed for a specific purpose, for clitoral/labial stimulation, or vaginal/g-spot stimulation. Any vibrator can be used to stimulate the clitoris, of course, but vibrators designed specifically for the clitoris are often small and discreet, and that alone is an attractive feature for some of us.

Strength of the Vibration
Power sources will generally dictate the strength of the vibration. Rechargeable vibrators are generally capable of delivering a stronger vibration than battery-powered vibrators. If you know you like a lot of heavy stimulation, a rechargeable vibrator is a good choice for you. If you like a light touch, any of the battery-powered devices will do.

Silicone and other Materials
Materials used for vibrators range from metal and hard plastics to jelly-like plastics and silicone. Silicone is an especially good choice because it is non-porous and easy to clean, is non-toxic, and feels good. But it is an expensive choice. Concern has been raised recently about phthalates, a compound found in many plastic sex toys. Phthalate-free products are likely to be advertised and marked as such, though products made of metal, hard plastic, glass or silicone are likely to be phthalate-free.

Talk...Take your Time...and Test First
For long-partnered couples engaging in sex after 50, introducing a vibrator into your sex life can be a tricky proposition. We recommend talking about it before making the purchase, and perhaps shopping together, so you can discuss the various attributes of the vibrator, and in so doing, share what sort of sensation you may be needing now and why things are different these days.


When using a vibrator for the first time, spend some time with the owner's manual to be sure you understand all of the settings. Give yourself time and space to be relaxed and open to the sensations. Perhaps take a warm bath first. It’s often a good idea to have a hand-mirror on hand, so you can see where and how the vibrator fits different parts of your body. Test it on all the parts of your genitals to see how it makes you feel. Using a good lube (water-based with silicone vibrators) is a good idea. Friction is friction, and the less the better.

First published 03/05/2010 Last updated 07/27/2011

Increase sensation in genital tissues.
Taking more time, energy, and attention can re-awaken our sensations.

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